A field of Flowers

Today it is sunny. The sunlight streams through the large windows of my work in strands through the dust filled air, and I sit, deciding my destiny. Sometimes it feels like things are changing but not really in any solid tactile way. It can be frustrating.  I am still writing, but it isn’t in a very solid or tactile way either; maybe that’s my problem. 

I am feeling lazy today. It’s holding me tightly in its arms and I feel like I’m breathing sickly sweet summer time air. I want to lie in a field of flowers and fall asleep with the sun on my eyelids. I want to hear a stream bubbling softly, telling me its historic secrets.

Things at work – due to my lack of gossiping tendency and the secrecy and private initiation that all tutors are supposed to have, I can’t tell you specifics but the water is leaking through the walls and the entire dam is going to break soon. I’m not entirely sure what is going to happen but I must say plainly that I don’t care. I am thinking about long silky ribbons of blues and oranges drifting elegantly through the air. Strange thought, but comforting.

There are a lot of babies in my family now. There is Ethan and Rose and Toma and Neko and another baby almost here. Can life repeat itself?  It does every day.  People think that we don’t live long enough in this life, but we can be no judges because we have known nothing else, but the world is old. The only thing older is the universe and God. What knowledge and foresight would I have if I was that old.

I am going to be 22 soon. Is that old? Really? I think I’m still a baby.

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